Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ttyl tear gas
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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