I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
