Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
