i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
