I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
