did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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