She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
