Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
