he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
