you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
