i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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