This girl is more easily done than said...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
