Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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