Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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