Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
