Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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