He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
