dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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