My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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