I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
