I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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