I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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