But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
