You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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