8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im six kinds of drunk right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
