i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
