Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
