...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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