sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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