Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
