I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
