It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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