I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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