I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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