Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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