Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't turn off my feet"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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