if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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