Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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