she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize