i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize