i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
