I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize