I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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