In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont even know how to be here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
