just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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