Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
