Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
