i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
