Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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