xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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