I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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