My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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