atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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