Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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