oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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