She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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