She said her name was "party"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
