I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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