wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
