dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
