I love black thongs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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