how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
