yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
